Boundaries are for testing...

I am furiously googling tantrums this morning. My companion is just furiously tantrum-ing.

Wowsers but this is a whole new challenge to my parenting.

The little dude woke at 10pm last night and threw a monstrous one. Absolutely no idea why, and I was utterly unable to make it better. Infact I’m fairly sure that standing him on his feet in my bathroom with the light on and ordering him to STOP THAT NOISE RIGHT NOW probably aggravated it considerably.

We live and learn, people. That was today’s mantra. And then he threw another one at 7.59am while I was furiously wrestling them into clothes in order to make it to nursery on time. The Boy is obsessed with being the first to arrive, as if generally getting there vaguely on time isn’t enough pressure of its own. Then Dada rang. Granted, they haven’t actually seen him since bedtime on Sunday, and the little dude was desperate to speak to Dada, but after several minutes of him resolutely saying nothing into the phone I had to move things on. 40 minutes of screaming fury followed, soothed only by the emergency purchase of chocolate brioche and giving him a straw so he could join me in my much-needed therapy-by-hot-chocolate.

I think we’re in one of those rare moments where both boys are Testing Boundaries. And growing alot. I seem to feed them all the live long day and still they appear in the kitchen with empty plates, with the little one saying “What else me have?” Everywhere we go people go a bit crazy about how much they’ve grown.

In the space of a few hours yesterday Big Brother succeeded in having every single sticker removed from his reward chart, and then he spat at me, screamed that he hated me, and soon after that precious little moment he made an impressive effort to use the worst swear word he knows. Well actually the only swear word he knows. It’s so tricky to understand what’s going on for them emotionally at times like this, and harder still to know how best to nurture them. I think today I’m going to invest heavily in some floor time and some sort of activity that will give us lots of space to be together constructively, with lots of chat and eye contact.

And here’s a weird thing – my kid hero-worships this other kid but every single time they play together, without fail, my kid comes home a bit manic. He also repeats everything the other kids has said, which is generally aggressive madness about policemen locking people up, people dying, and, my favourite, “You’re fired!” What IS that all about? And how do you legistate on the kids they want to be around, if it makes them into monsters?

On the upside it feels fabulous to realise that I’m handling what feels like the most challenging phase thus far with bucketloads of patience and good humour. That’s progress.

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Mama: Did you have a good day at nursery school, honey?

Boy: (whispers wistfully) It. Was. WONDERFUL!

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Mama: Oh honey you’ve got a temperature and a little cough. I think you’re a bit poorly so would you like to stay at home today? Or would you rather go to school?

Boy: (Leaping out of bed) I rather go to schoooooool!!

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I can’t remember what I did to deserve this – probably something involving food, but in the midst of yesterday’s mayhem The Boy also breathlessly uttered the immortal words “MUM. You are the best Mummy EVER. Ever!!”